Having sex is easy. Having great sex, however, is something that takes a little bit more forethought and work. No one intuitively knows how to make themselves or their partner tick – it’s something that we all learn over time, and, in a way, we never stop learning how to make our sex lives even better.
Luckily, though, going from good sex to mind-blowing bonkathons doesn’t take hours of yoga practice and an encyclopedic knowledge of The Kama Sutra – just follow these simple tips for knock-your-socks-off sensations. International sex and relationships expert, Tracey Cox shares her 4 tips on how to spice up your sex life.
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Find out what works for you
No one’s going to have the best orgasm of their life if they don’t know their own body, so it’s time to grab your favourite vibrator and get exploring. One thing that people often forget is that vibrators aren’t just for your genitals. Try gliding one around your breasts, across your inner thigh, or over aching backs and shoulders. You can also move it around the anus and perineum, but unless your vibe has a flared base, be careful not to insert it anally.
We’re all guilty of having a go-to position for masturbation, but trying out different poses can have a hell of an effect on your orgasm, as well as showing you what could work better during sex itself. For instance, you can try lying on top of your vibe instead of holding it on top of you, or, if it’s waterproof, take it into the shower and enjoy the world of vertical climaxes. You can also increase the sensation by pressing your hand on your abdomen just before you come.
Learn to love your body
It’s virtually impossible to enjoy sex to the fullest if you’re spending the whole event worrying about your tummy rolls. Being sexually happy means making peace with the parts of yourself that you don’t like so that you can fully lose yourself in the moment.
Stop comparing your sex life to other people’s
Even in today’s society, people believe that the happier a relationship is, the more sex the people in it will be having. But it’s all about quality, not quantity. Just because one of your girlfriends is having non-stop one-night stands and dabbling in everything from blow jobs to bondage, it doesn’t reflect in any way on your own sexual relationship. The only thing that matters is that you and your partner enjoy what happens between the two of you, and nothing else, and letting go of that societal pressure instantly makes things more fun.
Don’t be afraid to have a go
There’s a good chance that you think you know by this point what turns you on, and what doesn’t. But just like our taste in food, fashion, and partners, or sexual preferences in the bedroom are always evolving and changing. So if you find yourself increasingly drawn towards a sexual act that you may never have considered before (for example, anal sex), try openly discussing it with your partner, finding out more about exactly what is involved, and, if you’re both still interested, why not give it a go?