Mostly everyone has crossed paths with online dating over the last few years – either by trying it or hearing stories about successful or failed dates from friends. Then you’ve got the media hyping up the newest “dating trend”, each with its own buzzword name. (e.g. “ghosting”, “submarining”, “gatsbying”, only to name a few).
If you’re starting your online dating journey right now or been swiping and clicking for some time without success – here’s a list of things that you can apply to improve your dating game.
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Dating expert Celia Schweyer at Datingscout.com.au analysed what really matters in online dating. Here are 5 important things you can apply immediately.
Make your dating profile stand out
Your profile is your elevator pitch! Do i want to get to know this person? On some apps, people judge you in a matter of seconds. So, how to make the right first impression? Your top photo is the first thing others will see and therefore it should show your face clearly and look natural. No filters, no sunglasses, no friends or other people. Make sure it’s a good quality photo and not a blurred selfie.
You should have 4 to 5 pictures on your profile – use them to show different aspects of your personality. Especially women tend to upload more selfies and less hobbies, which should change. Also make use of text fields in your profile, but don’t overdo it with emojis. Two or three sentences about you and what you like should do.
Besides giving a good impression of yourself, interesting photos can also make for great conversation starters. “So, you like going on a hike? Where are you in this picture?”
Know your dating goals
Aside from the fun of trying it, you should know why you’re signing up to a dating service. There are tons of sites and apps and all have a different purpose. Let’s be honest, not everyone is looking for true, long lasting love online – but if that’s you, there are services especially targeted for this goal. Matchmaking sites with scientific personality tests connect you with potential partners based on these test results, but they also come at a certain price. Casual dating sites, on the other hand, are on the rise as well, and if you’re just looking for encounters of that kind (hint, the sexual one), this might be the right place for you. On “normal” dating sites, however, anything can happen – from goals I’ve already named, to finding flirts, new friends, travel buddies and so on. Members of these sites can have any of these intentions, so you’ll have to find out yourself.
Have the right expectations
Don’t expect wonders to happen within minutes. Just like in the offline world, it can take a whole lot of time to find a partner: From stumbling across the right profiles and matching with them, to exchanging messages and deciding to meet – and even then, they can turn out to be a waste of time, or the shining gem you were looking for. Good news is, on the internet you can text or flirt with multiple people at once without having to commit immediately. This is great to boost your flirting game and to take a look around, but after a while you’ll notice that connecting with potential partners is, same as it has always been, a matter of chemistry, which is a rare and precious thing.
Be careful with money and emotions
Be smart with spending on online dating services and do your research before you subscribe. Most dating sites offer premium memberships with extended functionality, which can be completely worth the money, but only if you plan on really using the site and if it is targeted towards your goal (see above). Still, better also check terms & conditions beforehand, to find out how you can cancel a service.
Regarding your emotions – being (sometimes, overly) excited about a first date is pretty natural but falling in love with an online profile should not happen. For your own sake, don’t let the butterflies flutter too quickly. Also, it’s not a modern fairytale if your match tells you he/she has feelings for you before you’ve even met. That should ring a warning bell.
Be honest and don’t forget about the fun!
Honesty is key in online dating. Your profile should be you and not an upgraded or false version of yourself. At some point you’ll want to meet your online matches in the real world and you too would want them to be who they claimed they are, right? Same for these personality tests that some sites have: Don’t select answers that don’t fit you. You’ll just end up getting match suggestions that don’t match. Bottom line: Lying in online dating has absolutely nothing on the pro side if you seriously want to meet someone.
Lastly, be positive about wanting to find a new partner. Scrolling through profiles and chatting with people should be fun and not putting you under any pressure.