Being a parent opens the door to a whole new world. With that said, children are a reflection of ourselves; the wonderful, the frustrating and just the normal facets of who we are. As a child grows, so does the intensity of them mirroring you as a parent. This can really trigger our own emotional issues, insecurities and ego. Being aware of our emotional state, allows each parent to step into a more conscious awareness of who they are and who their child is.
Becoming a more conscious parent isn’t about learning a new set of rules. A conscious parent is tweaking your approach on how you connect with yourself and then your child. Choosing to step into your own emotional intelligence instead of reacting to each and every situation that your child or life throws at you, can create a strong stability in communication for the family.
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognise and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. You can go a step further and include the ability to shift your emotions consciously and utilise them for tasks and/ or events. It’s about knowing how to regulate your emotions in the moment for yourself and others around you.
Emotional Intelligence is a skill that can be developed and developed well as you travel into your life’s journey. It’s not about never getting angry or overwhelmed, these emotions are all part of life however if emotions take over your clarity, then begins the pattern of becoming over reactive and less enjoyment in life for yourself and your relationship with your child.
Here are 5 ways to step into being a more Conscious Parent
1. MAKE TIME for YOU
This is not a selfish request! It’s about filling up the tank for our self. Take time out of your day (5- 30 minutes) same place and time if possible and let yourself BREATHE. Allow your body to be your anchor and bring your all attention to your breath. If your mind wanders (and it will), let it. Then gently bring it back to your breath. It takes time to unwind a busy mind.
2. KNOW your STRESS LEVELS
Easier said then done but if you do this daily, have a check in with yourself and just observe how you’re managing you. It’s important to notice if you’re feeling overwhelmed, rushed or even running on empty. All of the above can be considered low level stress and to live in this state daily, is an indication of tipping towards medium and high level stress.
3. LOOSING IT
We’ve all had this happen and sometimes it’s just not pretty and it can be pretty intense for children to experience this too. Any time you notice yourself moving into the danger zone of being over reactive, just STOP. Stop everything that you’re doing or saying – pull the handbrake on hard and fast, then just BREATHE.
4. MAKE PEACE with your PARENTING STYLE
A lot of the time a parent can be in conflict with how they want to do things, how they should be doing things AND what they actually do. There are so many methods, the new way, the old way, my way of being a parent etc. It’s important to make peace with what you actually do, how you would like to be a parent and deciding what is right for you. If there are two adult parents in the household, agreeing on the style of parenting together creates unity and a strong clear understanding of the family dynamics for everyone.
5. A True Connection
When it comes down to basics, all children want to be seen, heard and loved for who they are. Pretending you’re listening to them when in your mind, screaming ‘hurry up, I’ve got to finish this’ breaks that ‘real connection’ you have with them. Your child will feel this from you, they may not understand it however they feel this intense emotion and they, themselves react to it. If you think about it, just like when we don’t feel heard, we may talk louder or gesture more strongly. Children react in the same manner instantaneously. A true connection is a present connection.
It’s not the most easy role being a parent however the rewards and love you receive are priceless. So being clear on who you are and how you feel, changes the experience of parenting.
Instead of being triggered by a ‘mini me’, your child is able to show you a deeper side of yourself. Being a conscious parent is an opportunity to grow as a person, as parent and see the gifts in your child for who they are.