There are always countless reasons for when men cheat, but have you ever considered the reasons women cheat could be more than you expect. We delve deeper into this with consulting sex therapist for Ashley Madison, Tammy Nelson and explore the 7 surprising reasons women cheat when in a relationship.
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1. Women cheat for the sex.
Women cheat when they find a man (or a woman) that turns them on and gives them the sex that they want, that arouses them, that increases their desire, that blows their socks off. If anyone tells you that men cheat for sex and women cheat for emotion, they are wrong. Women cheat for sex just like men do. Women appreciate good sex just like anyone else.
– 79% of women in my practice who were having or have had affairs reported that they cheated for the sex, but not because of the sex
2. Women cheat because the relationship at home is cooling off.
If the loving feelings at home are starting to drift or if there is tension in the relationship, excitement on the side can be a temptation too great to avoid. In fact, women 18-29 commit infidelity more often than men do. (I call that the hot mom phenomenon. – finding a lover that makes you feel less like a mom and more like a hot sexy babe can be pretty intriguing.)
– It is assumed that men think about sex more frequently; therefore they have a higher libido than women.
– Fisher, Moore and Pittnegner (2011) found that men did report a greater number of thoughts of sex.
– BUT that was because they thought more in general of their personal needs -food and sleep and only slightly more about sex.
3. Women cheat because it makes them feel wanted.
Women cheat for a lot of reasons, not the least is that they like the way it feels.
Women report that their lovers make them feel special, sexy and adored, and that attention is hard to ignore, no matter who her spouse or lover is at home.
4. Women cheat for developmental growth.
Women face their aging and fear the lost opportunities that they might miss, just like men do. And they regret the choices they made to avoid sexual encounters along the way. If they have only had one or two partners they may try to make up for lost time, or they may hook up with a past boyfriend or girlfriend and rekindle an old romance to finish what they started but didn’t have the courage to complete.
5. Women cheat because they are conflict avoidant.
It’s easier sometimes to turn to an outside relationship than it is to deal with the problems at home. Finding sustenance and emotional satisfaction is easier with an outside partner than it is with someone you’ve known for years and can’t seem to resolve things with. An affair can be an exit, a way out, a way to avoid dealing with problems at home.
6. Women cheat because of fear.
Some women are turned on by the illicitness, the forbidden and the naughtiness of cheating. They find it hard to resist the idea of an affair because it is scary to think about getting caught and that’s what makes it exciting.
7. Women cheat because they can.
Many women are partnered but they aren’t married and they don’t have children. They are grown women in relationships with grown men, and they make their own choices. Many times women cheat even when their primary relationship is going well. They can be totally satisfied at home and still seek out an affair.
– Up to 56% of men and 34% of women in affairs described themselves as being in happy marriages.
– They also say that they love their primary partner and have good sex with them. (Ben-Zeev, 2008).
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