Kegels – that mythical sex exercise – are pretty simple in practise. They just involve squeezing your puboccoccygeus (PC) muscles, the ones you use to stop your urine.
Try squeezing and holding for ten seconds in reps (series) of ten or twenty at a time. Do them wherever you happen to be sitting down – on a bar stool, at work, on your way home on the bus.
They strengthen the pelvic floor and improve your control and grip.
You can also use Ben Wa balls – two small balls, usually both big enough to fit in the palm of your hand, which have been used as vaginal weights. Use your pelvic floor muscles to roll them around.
Yoga creates flexibility, making it easier to get into complicated positions and not tense up. It also teaches relaxation and good breathing practises, which can help during Tantric sex and BDSM activity.
The other good thing about yoga is that it tends to help with energy levels and reduce fatigue, always a good way to combat low libido.
Swimming & Cardio
Research shows that regular exercise, particularly cardio, improves your energy levels – and that includes in the bedroom.
Seek out a class which will challenge you and keep your heart rate high, building endurance. Swimming, running, biking – research shows that sustained levels of cardio activity will boost your energy and sex drive, particularly once you hit 30 and over.
This is particularly useful if you have problems sustaining positions which use particular muscles.
Use weights to target the sectors – arms and legs specifically – which handle a lot of pressure during sex.
A bonus: you need to have some energetic sex to figure out what those muscles are.
The Butterfly Stretch
The butterfly stretch is a fairly common yoga and athletic stretch, but it’s useful for the bedroom, and can even be done quickly just before an energetic sex session.
Sit straight and bring the soles of your feet together (see picture), till your knees are just under your elbows. Use your elbows to push weight down on your legs, as far as you can push them. This stretches the insides of the thighs, always an excellent area to be flexible during sex.
Martial Arts And Dance
This is often popular with people who have elaborate role-play or more unusual sexual routines which involve a lot of movement.
Whether it’s high-energy or slow, martial arts and dance teach you an awareness of your own body, as well as toning it.
Try to bring that awareness and control into the bedroom and you’ll be a bedroom partner worth reckoning with.
A bonus: try pole-dancing if you’re the type to want to give dances to your partner. However, be aware that pole dancing is a serious sport which requires commitment and can cause some seriously un-sexy bruises!
Lady Friday xx
Taking the pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…
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