By Victoria Rollison
We all know about schoolyard bullying, but some people never seem to grow out of teasing their peers. Bullying can be a very real problem in the workplace too – and it’s not always the men in the office doing the tormenting. Rescu. gives you advice on how to stand up to a bullying co-worker.
Male vs. female bullying
Male bullying tends to be direct and confrontational. Guys tend to resort to using bad language, mean names or even violence to harass their victims. But, according to Shelley Gare, in her article ‘Bullying: Secret Women’s Business’, published in The Australian, “when adult women bully each other, they are mostly indirect” and use methods that could be described as “covert”, “subtle” and “manipulative”. It could be just as accurate to refer to this behaviour as downright bitchy!
Subversive bullying
Women love to feel accepted and to work as part of a team to get things done. And it’s fair to say most of us expect to be friendly with our colleagues and to perhaps socialise with them to secure the bonds that make the office an enjoyable environment. Women who bully in the workplace know this and use it to their advantage when trying to show a vulnerable colleague that they ‘don’t belong’.
Female bullying often includes such behaviour as:
- Leaving the victim out of important meetings or information loops.
- Excluding the victim from social activities, such as after work drinks or lunch time outings.
- Making snide remarks about the victim’s work or appearance.
- Spreading rumours about the victim.
Tips for fighting back
If you are feeling miserable because of the bully’s behaviour, you don’t have to ignore her and hope she stops. The likelihood is that she is incredibly insecure in her position in the workplace and is trying to undermine you to make her feel better about herself.
But how do you address this problem without making things worse? Here are some options:
- Be assertive with the bully and tell her to stop the behaviour. Naming the behaviour can be very powerful.
- You may need to tell your manager about what has been going on. If your boss is the bully, speak to someone else who is in a position of authority, such as an HR manager.
- If you don’t feel like the matter is dealt with successfully by your managers, there is advice provided on the website www.beyondbullying.com.au. This advice includes links to your state’s WorkCover office, where complaints can be made to a third party, counselling services and advice on whether to speak to your union or a lawyer.
You don’t have to stay silent and go it alone. Remember, the problem is with the bully, not with you, so take a deep breath and be proactive. Remember taunts in the tearoom were never in your job description.