Having a potty mouth can be a pleasurable experience at times (and I’m one to put my hand up every now and then). Not being aware of your potty mouth as it slips into your professional life or begins to occur in inappropriate situations, possibly making others around you feel uncomfortable, and let’s not forget that little ears (children) are always listening even when they don’t appear to be.
So what is swearing all about? Swearing is about expressing an emotion and the surface emotion is generally frustration. Not being understood and needing to shock the receiving person into a state of listening – full attention. Once the speaker is gaining the desired result, then a pattern occurs. Getting a faster result or a quicker turnaround is what they’re after however, at what cost does it come?
If it becomes part of your everyday delivery when talking to people it can become unpleasant for those around you. It can also start alienating those around you. You are getting the outcome of what you’re after but it’s a negative re-enforcement pattern, meaning you are getting a result by creating a negative impact in an unpleasant situation for others involved.
Let’s get back to what and where your frustrations are originating. An internal chat with yourself, asking a couple of specific questions will assist you to unravel frustrations. Swearing effects people differently. Some use it to express anger, shock, and frustration whilst others just use it as part of their everyday vocabulary, however it initially started as a charged emotion (an intense feeling). You could be short on time, don’t like repeating your words or explaining yourself, perhaps you’re overwhelmed or maybe you just enjoy unsettling others.
Using swear words are effective but again it leaves a negatively charged emotion connecting you to others and if you’re wanting to change this habit, all that’s needed is a little bit of time to sort out the internal side, then a strategy on how to step away from it.
All you need is approximately thirty minutes of your full and calm attention to ask yourself some specific questions. You will have started to release some of the charged emotions surrounding the need to swear. The second part is having a strategy of what words to use instead for example:
SH#T to Sugar
I’ll let you use your imagination for the other frequently used swear words!
Here is a step-by-step process on ‘how to stop swearing in a week’:
Step 1. Set some time aside to have a frank conversation with yourself (approximately 30min) and ask specific questions. Write down your observations in detail for you to review.
Question 1: How do I feel just before I start to swear?
e.g. Frustrated, angry or annoyed – just allow yourself to experience these feelings all the way through in your own space and time.
Question 2: What does my body do before I want to swear?
e.g. does your body tense up, do you lean forward, does your chest puff up or perhaps do you start pointing your hands/finger? – Let your body experience these sensations and just observe your physical body react.
Question 3: What thoughts run through your mind before swearing?
e.g. Why do I have to explain everything, are they wasting my time, these are stupid questions, they’ve got no idea and so forth – let your mind keep going until your thoughts run out of steam and they will run out of steam.
What we’re doing is de-cluttering ourselves on different levels in a step-by-step process.
Step 2. Write out your replacement word strategies and practice saying them so they become familiar, rolling off your tongue.
- SH*T to SUGAR
- Oh My God to Oh My Goodness or Gosh
- F*&K to MEGA MEN
You will still swear initially however you can correct yourself in or just after the moment you catch yourself. It even brings a lighter feeling as you begin to realise how often your potty mouth is occurring. For some of you, you may even start to laugh as you change this habit and create a new pattern easily.
So where once you had a potty mouth leading the way and infiltrating different aspects of your life, you’re now able to sugar coat any slip of the tongue into a more light hearted and professional manner and those little ears repeating your sugar coat sayings, is just a piece of cake.