Ladies, the strength and duration of your orgasm doesn’t depend on your partner or bedroom toy, the lighting, or the phase of the moon. It’s under your control – and surprisingly simple to achieve, given a little dedication.
Here are our top tips on having a better orgasm – no stimulation creams required.
Find A Cuter Partner
You may not believe that this is science, but a recent study showed that women who have sex with men have better, and more frequent, orgasms the more attractive their partner is.
The scientists’ reasoning? The more conventionally ‘handsome’ a man is, the more testosterone he possesses, and the more the woman’s evolutionary desire to keep him as a ‘mate’ kicks in, producing greater sexual pleasure. All very cave-man, but, alas, true.
Unfair to the less genetically blessed men out there. But if you’re looking for more intense orgasms, find a man you regard as a 10. It’s science.
Do Your Kegels
These simple pelvis tension exercises – squeezing and releasing the muscle you use to stop the flow of urine, a few times a day – are crucially important to your sexual health.
They give you more control, allow better blood flow to your pelvis, and strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Do them regularly and you’ll REALLY feel the difference.
Use Deep Breathing
Most women hold their breath or start to breathe shallowly during orgasm. It’s a pretty natural reaction.
However, if you want to raise the oxygen flow to your brain – and stimulate yourself even further – try to fight this inclination and breathe deeply as you start to feel an orgasm rising. It will bring you to a higher level of sensation – and fireworks.
Too many women, according to numerous studies, either don’t masturbate very often or regard the process as something shameful or ‘inferior’ to actual sex with a partner.
If that sounds like you, time for a re-education.
Masturbation regularly improves your chances of an orgasm with a partner stratospherically, and most women have the vast majority of orgasms on their own. Start regarding it as a special occasion. Buy yourself a delectable toy to help the process, settle in, and educate yourself.
Women’s magazines who splash about headlines like The Sex Diet are only slightly off the mark. Alas, there are no foods that will guarantee aphrodisiac effects.
However, dark chocolate has been correlated with arousal, red wine with circulation during sex, and edamame (of all things) with natural lubrication levels. Research your food before you eat it – things which raise testosterone and oestrogen are particularly useful.
More importantly, the healthier your body is, the better orgasms you’ll have – an insane amount of chemicals and nutrients go into producing the explosive reaction, and studies show that a boring old balanced diet is the best way to give yourself that cocktail for success.
Wait Until You’re Older
Oddly enough, you may be expecting too much of yourself too soon. Women reach sexual maturity long past the age where they’re first expecting to raise the roof with their orgasms – in their late 30s to 40s, and in some cases even later.
So if you’re mid-to-late 20s and trying to have the orgasm of your dreams, stop being so hard on yourself. In ten or so years, they’ll come – no pun intended.
Lady Friday xx
Taking the pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…
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