By Rachael Bentick
Inlighten Bridal Coach
As a wedding industry professional, I learnt long ago never to use the phrase “because you only get married once”. The silence and awkward look that the bride threw her fiancé, told me that clearly I was wrong.
In 2014 there were 121,197 weddings and 46,498*divorces registered, which means that there must be a large number of people returning for a second walk down the aisle.
Chances are if this is you, your perspective on life has changed since your first wedding. From the addition of kids to your financial circumstances, a second wedding is a whole new ball game. Here’s a couple of factors to consider when planning: Take Two.
1. You are focused on your marriage, rather than your wedding
While your wedding lasts a day, you already know that marriage takes a lot of hard work over a long period of time. And if you’ve already been divorced you are probably keen to avoid the stress and hurt that this causes. Therefore items such as over-stretching the budget, that you know could cause arguments after the wedding, are less likely to occur this time around.
2. Quality over quantity
One of the findings of the Bride to Be Cost of Love survey was that as the average age of a bride is increasing, so too is the average per head spend on food and beverages. As we get older we get more accustomed to the finer things in life, so if this is your second wedding, the Spumante that was acceptable for your first wedding sparkling, will probably be replaced by a few bottles of the real deal champagne. A reception in a fine restaurant that caters to smaller numbers but a higher quality of food is also more of an option.
3. Breaking with tradition
Traditions such as seeing the bride before the wedding would have been unthinkable for a first wedding, but second time around convenience and spending more time together on your wedding day becomes more of a priority. Plus if you’re juggling kids in the mix, seeing each other could become a outright necessity.
4. Kids
Second weddings are definitely a celebration of the joining of two families. So including children in the ceremony is extremely important. A couple of ways things can be achieved is:
– Combining your wedding ceremony with a christening, so that the child is celebrated at the same time
– Having your children as your exclusive bridal party, without any other bridal party members
– Making the kids entertainment a feature of your reception. Let all your guests know that your priority is your combined families coming together as one.
5. Say goodbye to the Gift Registry
Your guest list is shorter and there’s a good chance your nearest and dearest were at the first wedding. Plus there’s extremely little chance that you’re moving out of home so the need to set up your nest is non existent. Forget about the gift registry or the requests for money. A second wedding is truly about celebrating your love, with those closest to you. A request for “no gifts” is definitely the classiest option.
6. Use different wedding suppliers
Even if you are now able to look back on your first marriage with fond memories, today is about celebrating the partner you are with today. Therefore try to avoid any moments that might bring back memories from your first wedding. Many second brides like to really change things up by going for a completely different dress, featuring a short skirt or bright colours.
7. Make your guests feel special
An invite to a second wedding is a true expression of a close friendship. The numbers are smaller and each person is recognised as having a special connection to the couple. While this time around you’re spending less on the big ticket items, I think a beautiful investment is in a gift for each of your guests that they can remember the night by. Branded luxury candles, photo frames and small pieces of jewellery are all beautiful ideas that let your guests know you value their friendship.
8. Can I invite my ex-husband/wife?
No, no, no. A second wedding is your chance to look forward, not backward. No matter how close you are to you ex (and especially if you’re close) there is no place for your ex at your second wedding.
Second weddings are fabulous because they’re so genuine. There’s less emphasis on the frou-frou and frill, and more emphasis on you as a couple celebrating the beginning of your lives together as a family.
* According to: https://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/mf/3310.0
Images via Inlighten Photography