The end of one year and the beginning of another. For many of us, that equates to a time for reflection. We look back at the past year, often judging ourselves for what we aren’t satisfied with, and come up with resolutions to fix those things in the upcoming year. While New Year’s Resolutions sound like a great idea, have you ever noticed that they don’t actually work? We may start off pretty good, but it doesn’t take long until our ambitions start to fade and we give up. And now, we have yet another thing to judge ourselves for.
What if there’s nothing wrong with you? What if resolutions set you up for failure because they are based on judgments? You look at your life, your body, your relationships, your finances and you judge them as less than desirable and set out to fix what you have concluded is wrong. There is another way. A way to create change and have more of what you desire without judging you.
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Successful change occurs when we create targets rather than resolutions. A target is something you aim to hit. If you don’t hit it, you aim again. You don’t judge you. You don’t make yourself wrong. You simply aim and shoot again. A target is moveable, not solid and rigid like a resolution. If what you desire changes, your target changes with you. Targets are about choice, change and, most importantly, leave judgment out.
Business and life mentor Simone Milasas shares her top 3 tips on how to set targets for the upcoming year:
1. Get clear on what you desire.
Have you ever really asked yourself what it is YOU desire? Most of us look at the people around us, their lives and what they are choosing – what they say is valuable and what they say is what we should want. The problem with this is that you are nowhere in the computation.
Stop looking at what others say you should desire and be honest with yourself. What is it that you would like? If you could have, do and be anything, what would you choose? Once you are clear on what you desire, set those things as your targets. When your targets are actually YOUR targets, you are much more likely to hit them.
2. Throw out the wish list.
Have you ever had a wish list? Have you ever played the “if I win the lottery” game? Where you sit around and think about what you would do and how you would live if you landed a winning ticket? Wish lists put your life on hold. Wish lists keep you waiting for something that may or may not happen in the future. This year, throw out that wish list and start a create list instead.
Wishing for something to occur is not the same as creating it. Creating requires you to actively choose. Creating requires you to commit to your life.
Many of us don’t create because we have already decided that we can’t have whatever it is we desire, and the interesting thing is, when you have a point of view about anything, that point of view becomes your reality.
If you would like to change the point of view that you can’t have what you desire, try this. Say, “Interesting point of view. I have that point of view.” Say it several times. What occurs when you use this phrase is that whatever point of view you currently believe as real and true becomes just interesting and when it is just interesting, you can change it.
If you let go of the point of view that you can’t have what you desire and actually start to take action and create it, you open the door for new possibilities to show up.
3. Set targets that are fun for you.
The definition of a goal is a prison and when you set goals based on what you think you should change, because you have decided that something about you isn’t good enough, imprisoning yourself is exactly what occurs. What if, rather than looking at what you have decided you should fix and change, you actually got out of the prison and chose targets that were fun for you?
What do you love to do? Do you enjoy hiking, reading, cooking, swimming? Maybe you like being out in nature. Or soaking in a warm bath. Whatever brings you joy, whatever is fun for you, what if this upcoming year you committed to having and doing more of that? If you took one hour a day, every day, for you, how much happier would you be? How much would that add to the quality of your life?
Targets for the new year don’t have to be something that you do for awhile and then give up and judge yourself for. Targets can be something that enhance your life. Get clear on what you desire. Commit to creating whatever that is rather than simple wishing for it to show up. Include the things that are fun for you and enjoy your best year yet.
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