Find that you’re not getting anywhere in the love department? That you’re seeing people but it doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere long-term? World-renown clinical hypnotherapist Georgia Foster shares how you can improve your love life and dating potential.
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I’ve been working as an expert clinical hypnotherapist for many years and have worked with many women who believe a committed and loving relationship just isn’t ever going to happen for them.
Sadly, this belief is rife. There are woman all over Australia who have been looking for a life partner and feel very let down by the society we now live in.
So why does it seem so hard to find the right mate? Well, things have changed a lot in the last 25 years. Many blame the Internet. Some blame woman having careers and some blame independence and women wanting it all. The jury is out as far as I am concerned.
It’s tricky to understand why there has been a surge in single women but I do know one thing that inhibits anyone finding love; it’s their own thinking.
One of my clients had her heart broken at 18 when a boyfriend dumped her for one of her University friends. It took her a while to get over it and since then she has had a number of short-term relationships that ‘never seemed to go anywhere’ because the men were never committed enough.
The case here is my client simply didn’t understand is why she kept attracting the ‘same’ type of guy. It seems some women are hell-bent on choosing difficult men, men who are not kind or are takers and the pattern repeats.
The mind is lazy and likes things to be familiar, even when it is to the detriment of someone’s emotional wellbeing.
The key is to train your mind! Your mind works on memory and how love and vulnerability has been dealt within your past. This is key to why a healthy relationship seems elusive to so many women, yet it’s not the men. It’s your mind that has created an unhelpful, protective mechanism.
Your past and lack of self esteem can be your worst enemy in finding love and as you progress in your love quest, you can become more and more anxious, rather than trusting.
What we know about the mind is that any history of vulnerability, such as rejection or abandonment, the mind will protect by suggesting it is unsafe to go into certain situations and this includes finding love.
You can train your mind to avoid any potentially healthy love partners because the brain scans your relationship history and says ‘don’t go there, you might get hurt again, it’s too familiar with too much heartache’.
In the mix, to confuse the issue, the relationships you attract unconsciously which you know will never go anywhere, are at least on some level ‘safe’ to you.
This is the irony of the unconscious mind which is where all emotional habits are stored. It works on history and emotional habit, whether helpful or not.
In order to learn a healthy love mind set, you need to let this part of your mind understand that having a healthy and happy relationship is nothing to do with your past.
One of the easiest ways to do this is use the clever part of the mind through hypnosis. To literally re-train the brain to become comfortable and familiar with healthy, loving men who have integrity now and in the future, irrespective of someone’s unhelpful love history.
The neuroscientists have confirmed that irrespective of what people believe the brain is pliable and adaptable to emotional change irrespective of someone’s past. In other words, you can teach an old dog new tricks!
The neuroscientists have also confirmed that hypnosis is the fastest and most effective method of creating emotional change.
Creating new patterns of thought about love and finding the right partner who is intuitively good for you is possible and absolutely accessible.
To create a match between the unconscious and the conscious mind, both parts of the mind can acknowledge that it is safe to be in a loving relationship and thus attract a good match.
Without these emotional tools and resources, it will be difficult for someone to recognise a healthy relationship because the mind will keep rejecting and sadly miss many opportunities to be with a man who is a good fit for that person, that could literally be at their finger tips.
We must honour that we all have a past and there are pains and rejections; however, the good news it doesn’t have to be the ‘truth’ but rather the past and have faith that we have incredible minds that do know how to move on to find love.