With the festivities behind us and a New Year ahead, you’re probably promising to overhaul your diet, your work, your romances and your finances. Lady Friday’s here to remind you not to neglect the bedroom in your resolution list…
A new year, a new beginning – and even if you celebrate Chinese New Year or don’t care too much about 2018’s start, it’s a good chance to reflect on your life. An important part of that? Sex!
Image via pinterest
Here are RESCU’s top suggestions for bedroom resolutions this year. Put them on your list as things to try – or just note them down as good ideas — and improve intimacy in 2018.
I will not be afraid to try new things.
Always wanted to get that toy, try that position, venture into that power dynamic or explore that sexual arena? Don’t hold back. Explore wisely, safely and with consent and respect.
I will listen to my partner.
Sometimes people worry so much about whether they’re good enough in bed/the right shape/flexible/able to juggle three tomatoes and a goose that they stop listening to their bedmates. Bad sign.
It doesn’t have to be obeying when they say ‘Stop’ or ‘I don’t want to’. Tune into your partner’s sexual frequency, and respond to their unspoken directives. Listen with your body as well as your ears (I promise it’s less airy-fairy mystical than it sounds).
I will break out of my rut.
Only have a certain variety of positions? Have sex on Wednesdays, Fridays and the select Sunday when there isn’t a game? Spontaneity isn’t a pressure device (a lot of women report feeling strained in their attempts to ‘mix it up’), but do try something a little different.
Go back to things you first did when entering a relationship. Spend more time pleasuring yourself on your own. Wear your partner’s shirt, reinstate lingerie you haven’t worn for a while, or just be extra affectionate. Move from there.
I will get tested.
Even if you’ve been in a relationship for god knows how many years – or just have been comfortably monogamous for a while, even with yourself – it’s wise to get tested. Sexual health is important, and you could be a carrier of something without displaying symptoms.
If it’s been less than six months since your last check-up, you’re probably fine. If not, get it done – it’s generally free, painless and takes a weight off your mind. Also, if you don’t have a birth control regimen set in place, nail that down.
I will feel comfortable with my body.
Surprise – you have stretch marks, cellulite, saggy bits, wobbly bits, bruised bits, bits that don’t exactly fall symmetrically, and hair in odd places. Congratulations! You’re a woman!
Letting go of your body hang-ups can sometimes be as simple as finding a bedroom partner or two who adore everything with which you present them – but it’s got to start with you. Hang around naked. Try on tight clothes. You’re a lovely being, so shut up with the self-deprecation and put on a corset.
I will spoil myself, but not need fancy toys or lingerie to have a good time.
Women of quality (which you are) deserve a little pampering now and then, but we also don’t need expensive things to make us feel like sexual beings.
Indulge wisely, safely and with discretion and restraint. (Mind you, I say this as a person who has so much lingerie I may need to buy another chest of drawers.) By all means, buy the Coco De Mer beauties or the Maison Close delectables – but always feel good just in your own naked skin, too.
I will have fun.
What with all the self-help manuals, columns (sorry), quizzes and frantic advertisements hitting us all in the face, it seems like sex can be less fun and more of a chore. Guess what? It’s one of the silliest things adults do.
For god’s sake, find somebody who thinks the whole sex thing as ridiculous and light-hearted and charming as you do – and lighten up. You’re rolling around in sheets, not plotting a Mars mission.
Happy New Year!
Lady Friday xx