Long week? Lazy Sunday morning? Lying naked, with a light buzz of arousal, but not motivated enough to really go for it? Have no fear. Lazy sex doesn’t mean unsatisfying sex.
If you’re not sure how to go about things without an eviction-worthy orgasm and a mattress wetter than Niagara, read on for top tips for lazy-day sex.
The key thing about lazy sex is that you have time – lots of time. This gives you the chance to stretch out every stage, turning frantic kisses into slow ones, scratches into strokes, and so on. Go gentle, go intimate, and don’t rush.
Think in terms of tantric sex, where the goal isn’t a mad rush to the orgasm, but putting all your energy (what there is of it) into the motions themselves. Breathe together. Just enjoy your nakedness. Chill out!
2. Adopt equal-effort positions
Lazy-day sex is not just about you being lazy. I believe the technical term for that is ‘selfish’.
Don’t lie back and let somebody else do all the work (though that can be fun). Find positions – lying on your sides facing one another, or spooning, or otherwise intertwined – where one person isn’t making all the effort, and you can both do as you please.
3. Start sleepy, and continue
The very best lazy-day sex starts when you’re barely awake and don’t know if it’s a dream or not. If you feel like going back to sleep, let yourself drift off – and wake up again to slowly continue what you started.
That sounds horribly cheesy, but this is one of the rare occasions where grabbing a snooze during sex will not get you turfed out onto the street.
The chance to slow down means that you can do all kinds of things – with your tongue, your hands, the soft parts of your thighs – to explore your partner. A constant low-level arousal means you’re very sensory but not heart-pumpingly desperate for action, so take advantage of the state.
See what they do, which parts are ticklish, what things smell and taste like. Hopefully they’ll return the favour.
5. Go for the tease
Another cue from the tantric book – arousal can be endlessly sustained, provided you pay attention to your partner’s energy ebbs and flows. This sounds like something you’d hear from a woman named Marsha who believes in chakras, but it’s physiologically true.
On lazy days, think of your arousal, and your partner’s, not as something to be built up to a peak, but as something to rise and then fall again. Tease, slow down, sleep, wake up, repeat. The sexual experience will last for ages, and if you do finally orgasm, your body will react to the hours of teasing by rendering you practically unconscious.
Lady Friday xx
Taking the pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…
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