1. Breathe properly.
The kind of orgasm associated with quick, frantic intimacy is usually characterised by shallow breathing, or even holding your breath entirely. If you notice yourself doing this, stop and take long, deep breaths. Work in moans if that will help you remember.
Why is this crucial? Breath improves blood flow to the genitals, and puts the body in a position to experience long, full orgasms rather than short bursts. This could be the key to turning your unsatisfying finish into an extended pleasure.
2. Don’t fake.
The temptation is probably high – just writhe a bit and ‘get it over with’ – but this is very poor sexual behaviour and only encourages what’s inadequate.
Faking is damaging to your endeavour – why reward behaviour that’s not getting you where you want to be? Instead, work on communicating properly. Direct your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t.
3. Don’t view your first orgasm as your last.
Women are multi-orgasmic – even if you’ve never experienced it, you possess the capacity to just keep coming. Unlike men, whose orgasms often spell the end of their sexual experience and enforce ‘rest time’, women’s first orgasms actually mean the beginning.
Make it your mission to keep going after the smaller, initial orgasms – picture it like a mounting tidal wave. They’ll build up and up, and the end result will be spectacular.
4. Elongate your sessions.
If the longest session you can remember took ten minutes because the phone rang halfway through, you need to change your approach. Women benefit from foreplay enormously – and when it’s neglected because of habit or lack of time, orgasms suffer.
Remedy this immediately by setting aside a big chunk of time and filling it with all sorts of erotic activities – undressing each other slowly, kissing one another all over, intense teasing to the point of orgasm before pulling back. You’ll find the slow burn works much better for your final result.
5. Explore all your erogenous zones.
Are you versed in how many kinds of orgasm there are? If you can only think of vaginal and G-spot, you need to expand your repertoire.
The clitoris and the mons themselves are highly sensitive, but other erogenous zones to be explored include the stomach, the small of the back, the backs of the thighs, the shoulders and the neck. Some people experience fantastic pleasure from having their palms bitten or their ears nibbled.
Incorporating your whole body into intimacy will open it up to more earth-shaking pleasure later on, so get an anatomy chart and start looking…
6. Do your Kegels.
This is the oldest and most boring tip in the book, but it works – regardless of your position preference, partner or frequency. Kegels, the pelvic floor muscles, are major contributors to orgasm.
Their tension and release is what creates that building up of pressure that ultimately explodes, and their tightness also enhances pleasure for your partner.
Flexing them regularly, or incorporating accessories like Ben Wa balls, is a great way to guarantee you’re orgasm-ready.
7. Masturbate regularly.
In a long-term relationship? You’ve got a partner who can take care of your needs, so you no longer really need to masturbate – right? Wrong.
Research shows that women who consistently reach their peak orgasms are the ones who masturbate regularly regardless of whether they’re single or in a long-term partnership.
It’s not just about what to do when your partner’s gone away or too tired. Incorporate it into your practise – masturbate for one another – and it’ll trigger nerves and full-body pleasure.
Lady Friday xx
Taking the pleasure out of the bedroom, every Friday…