Setting The Record Straight On Common Sex Myths

 Lady Friday’s out to set the record straight on some sexual myth-conceptions. Sex has more fairytales surrounding it than a Brothers Grimm collection. Let’s tackle a few of the most common ones, shall we?
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If my number is above ‘X’, my future partner will think I’m a slut.

X can be any number you like. 10? 20? 100? Take your pick. The amount of worry and angst that goes into this one little number – ‘everybody’s had more sexual partners than me’, ‘I’ve had too many to be marriage material’ – is astonishing.

The truth? Your number really doesn’t matter. Partners care about your sexual health, your behavioural patterns and whether you’re a good lover.

What matters is the pattern and type of sex you have. Are you unfaithful? Do you sleep with everybody in a particular group of friends and then move on? Do you become easily sexually bored? Do you find sex a really difficult step when dating somebody? It’s the issues that lie behind the number, not the number itself, that counts.

Lesbians can’t get STDs.

This is just silly. Any activity where bodily fluids are exchanged, in intimate areas or otherwise, leaves you at risk of STDs.

If you’re sleeping with or have slept with a woman, you don’t have to worry about pregnancy, but you still have to use protection (a dental dam, in this case), and get yourself checked regularly. I still don’t believe how often I have to explain this.

Nobody finds people with glasses attractive.

A study (by a laser eye surgery, oddly enough) said recently that 80% of glasses-wearers take off their glasses in the bedroom. The conclusion? People don’t find glasses sexy!

Lies. Ask any man you like; the sexy-librarian fantasy exists for a reason. Two prime celebrity examples? Megan Fox and Evangeline Lilly, who become even more attractive when they go out bespectacled.

So if you’re going the glasses route and feeling a little insecure, take heart – guys still make passes at girls who wear glasses. I think they’d rather deal with cute spectacles than see you scrounge around for contact fluid.

Plus somebody might want to tell the people running the study that people take their glasses off in the bedroom so they won’t, you know, get smashed.

If one sexual partner tells me I’m no good at a particular act, it’s true for all my sexual partners.

This is disturbingly common. There are many women out there whose confidence in their ability to perform a certain sexual act has been ruined forever by some teenage boyfriend’s callous criticism.

Here’s the thing- all men aren’t the same, and it’s possible to learn. If criticism comes from multiple sexual partners (and the criticism isn’t harsh – seriously, you deserve better than low self-esteem in bed), don’t give up! Ask your partner to guide you in what makes them feel good, and look for tutorials elsewhere.

Having an STD automatically makes me un-dateable.

Thankfully, this is not the case, given that something close to 1 in 3 of us will have an STD at some point in our sexual lives. If you do contract an STD, it doesn’t mean the end of the world.

What it does mean is research on your part, and honesty with all future partners – BEFORE you get into the bedroom. Most STDs mean it’s still perfectly possible to have sex, provided you take precautions, but both of you need to be fully aware of all the facts before you go ahead.

If I have flaws, I’m not sexually attractive.

Got cellulite? Stretch marks? Scars? Guess what? So does everybody else – including celebrities, models, and that hot girl you envy on the train.

The key thing to remember here is that men, if they’re worth your time and sexuality, really, honestly do not care. You’re a bombshell even with flaws, and if you were absolutely perfect they’d probably collapse in an insecure heap. Celebrate yourself – flaws included.

If I was too drunk to consent, it wasn’t rape.

The law is quite clear on this one. Even if you went home with him or behaved in a manner which was sexual, if you don’t consent, you don’t consent. Nobody has the right to have sex with you without your conscious and stated permission. It’s not ‘your fault’ if you were drunk enough to black out; it’s still illegal. No shame, ladies.

Lady Friday xx
Taking pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…


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