Casual Partners: Are They All They’re Cracked Up To Be?

Samantha Jones would be shocked.  A new study from the US has supposedly shown that women are less likely to orgasm with casual partners they don’t know very well.

But it’s not for the reasons you think – and it might not be as cut-and-dried as it seems.

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600 college students in America underwent the study, and reported whether they’d orgasmed after any kind of bedroom activity.  And the results?  Definitely pro-relationship.

75% of the girls who were in relationships reported orgasms, while only 40% of the girls who had casual partners did.  Men, however, appeared to find casual hook-ups no obstacle to satisfaction, with 80% orgasm rates.

It’s been touted as the evidence that shows women really can’t have the all-pleasure, strings-free casual encounters that men can.  Some neurologists have said that women need ‘bonding’ to truly be able to get their big O, while men don’t need any context at all.

But before you throw out your black book of casual bedroom buddies and start hunting for The One, let’s examine the evidence for what it can really tell us.

For one, the age of the study group is a big factor in how they orgasm.  Most women in university (ages 18-25) aren’t at the peak of either their confidence or their experience.

The later in life a hook-up occurs, the more probable it is that a woman would know how to make an orgasm happen.

So that 40% orgasm rate for young women with one-night partners isn’t surprising.  They’re still developing their understanding of what gets them off.

Communication is also a huge factor in achieving the big O.  Once you know the moves and rhythms that give you pleasure, the next step is telling your partner – and that’s often not in young women’s arsenals yet.

Plus there’s the commitment factor – not hormones that bond us, but the principle of actually wanting to pleasure your partner.

In long-term relationships, you get invested in making sure your partner has a good time, listening to their wants and responding to their desires.  In one-night situations, however, you’re both there for your own pleasure and not much else.

Women, who often reach orgasm through more complex ways than men, can need this investment.  It’s not because we’re ‘wired to be in relationships’, but because pleasing us takes effort on both sides.

So while it’s certainly true that for young women, casual encounters won’t lead to as much pleasure as relationships, that’s no reason for more experienced women – or women who know what they want – to stop making booty calls.

And if you are experiencing lack of pleasure in casual hook-ups, but don’t want to settle down?  Try talking to your partners about your pleasure and what they can do to cause it.  Then you’re both invested – and I guarantee they’ll like the direction.

Lady Friday xx
Taking the pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…

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