Every now and then I like to hand it over to an expert. Author of Wildly Irresistible, leading Australian sex coach Tara O has studied alongside some of the world’s best Tantra teachers (she once made love to a sex wizard). Tara wants women to embrace their wild womanhood and authentic sensuality, to connect back to their bodies and to celebrate and nurture their divine femininity.
image via pinterest
Here’s the first step:
As a sex coach, one of the most popular complaints I hear from women either in my private sessions or workshops around Australia, is the constant struggle for the elusive orgasm.
With exasperated faces and concerned voices, women of all ages whisper their fears of a life doomed to ‘faking it’ or even worst, losing interest in sex all together!
And these ladies are not alone.
Statistics suggest the number of us gals unable to achieve an orgasm are as high as one in every three.
Medical professionals are labelling it an epidemic of ‘Female Sexual Dysfunction’ (FSD) and with the new Viagra for women on the way, I’d bet my left arm we see that number increase.
But here’s the thing.
Not being able to have an orgasm is NOT a ‘Dysfunction’ at all. It is merely a small hurdle in which with the right information, motivation and training 90% of women can overcome.
The problem is we build up so much anxiety, shame and stigma around the almighty orgasm, that we don’t realise how wonderful it can be to fully allow ourselves to learn about our sexual selves and find our pathway to pleasure.
If you want to play with increasing your orgasmic potential or supercharging your pleasure, you will firstly require the three most important P’s (and no penis isn’t one of them, although it can be a handy addition!)
It will require time to PRACTISE, a POSITIVE mindset and some good old fashion PATIENCE.
Once you have them, you’re ready to begin exploring and experimenting with your sexual pleasure.
To make things easier, I have detailed a few handy ignition switches to get your sexual juices pumping and get you well on the way to orgasmic bliss.
Nipples
It’s not uncommon for many women to have a somewhat tricky relationship towards their breasts. Many ladies complain they are merely used as eye candy, squeeze cushions or feeding stations.
Yet, what many of us do not know is the vital role our breasts play in lighting our sexual fire and increasing our potential for a pleasurable sexual experience.
Our breasts are a delicious erogenous zone, hardwired by nerves and hormones. The nipples in particular are highways for ecstasy! Nipple stimulation activates the same part of the brain as vaginal, clitoral and cervical stimulation. Making it possible to have an orgasm just from breast play alone!
According to Journal Of Sexual Medicine (Volume 8) ‘Researchers discovered that stimulation of the nipple activated an area of the brain known as the genital sensory cortex. This is the same brain region activated by stimulation of the clitoris, vagina and cervix. What this means is that women’s brains seem to process nipple and genital stimulation in the same way. In light of this, it is not at all surprising that many women are aroused by having their nipples touched and that, for some, this may be enough to lead to orgasm’.
Top Turn On Technique: Use Feather light touch over your entire breast, waking up all the nerve endings. When your nipples become erect, squeezing or pinching the nipples quite firmly will flood your body with oxytocin aka the bliss hormone.
Clitoris
With 6000-8000 nerve endings, the clitoris earned her reputation the epicentre of female delight. With the highest concentration of nerve ending anywhere in the male or female body, the clitoris’s only purpose is pleasure!
For most women this switch is the most important and is an essential orgasm trigger. However, it is not a magic button that can be pressed for instant arousal or climax. The clitoris is sensitive and needs time to work up to direct stimulation, so be delicate here. The hotter you get the more pressure you can apply.
Turn On Technique. Rolling the shaft is many women’s favourite self pleasure technique. To find the shaft of your clitoris, place your fingers flat on the hood and feel for the tubular structure beneath the skin, this is your clitoral shaft and your highway to bliss.
Pelvic floor muscles
Most women know that having strong, healthy pelvic floor muscles decreases the chances of vaginal problems and urinary incontinence. But did you know that it also allows you to have better vaginal lubrication and stronger orgasms?
Your pelvic floor muscles are actually the powerhouse of sexual pleasure. They act as a sort of sexual ‘trampoline’, bouncing sexual energy and orgasmic bliss thought out your entire body and are key to kick starting and then further expanding, your states of arousal and pleasure.
Turn On Technique: As you begin your journey towards arousal squeeze and release your pelvic floor muscles, this will begin to activate the blood flow and wake up your erectile tissue. When you are close to climax squeeze and release you PC muscles more rapidly to enhance your orgasm.
Tara O is the debut author of Wildly Irresistible – 6 keys to becoming the happiest (and hottest) woman you know, now available as an eBook or paperback on iBooks (Apple), Kindle (Amazon), Google Books and Google Play, or on her website www.tarao.com.au