Things getting a bit slow between the sheets? Lady Friday has all the answers.
We’ve all been there. Bed death; the six-month slump; two-kids-and-full-time-work. Sex dries up for even the most scorching of couples.
But all is not lost.
Take it from Jada Pinkett-Smith, who has three kids with Will Smith and still keeps the spark alive.
“Keep it spontaneous,” Jada said on Oprah recently. “I always surprise him… During the day I might send a sexy picture of some sort…If he’s on set with me, we might take a break.”
image via pinterest
Here are my top tips for relighting the bedroom spark – no complicated love potions required:
• Spontaneity is the key to reigniting your cooled chemistry. Don’t go to the front door wrapped in cling film, but send a sexy text at an unexpected time – in the middle of the day, or while your partner’s commuting home from work.
• If it’s been a while since you had a daring five-minute hook-up, grab him during the washing up, at a dinner party, or just before he/she leaves the house. Use the time for all it’s worth.
• Want to heat up the bedroom itself? Invest in some new lingerie, or bring out the things you wore when you first started sleeping together. Stockings, bras, suspenders – they’ll trigger memories of your first hot encounters.
• Make it clear you still want him/her and are attracted to them sexually. Expressions like that can fade as relationships go by – but a simple sexy compliment here and there will lay a sizzling foundation.
• Another sizzling aspect? Foreplay. People in long-term relationships often get straight to the main course while skipping all the important hors d’oeuvres that build up your appetite.
• Perhaps this is a peculiar suggestion – but if you’ve stopped pleasuring yourself too, start with that. Bedroom stagnation is as much about you being a sexual person as it is about you two as a couple. One-on-one time, even if it seems counter-productive, will get you into a steamy frame of mind which you can then translate to your relationship.
• Why not use this chance to explore and satisfy all your sexual needs? Talk about your fantasies; learn a little about striptease; take a trip to a toy shop together (it can be a great bonding experience); rent some sexy DVDs; pick up some massage bars.
• More prosaically, make time. Set aside the time and mental energy for sex, and you’ll feel ramped up and ready to go.
• Flirt! Laughing, bantering and teasing gets the sexual tension back into any relationship, regardless of how old the connection is. It’s just sex, not the end of the world.
Lady Friday xx
Taking the pillow talk out of the bedroom, every Friday…
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