Learning To Thrive In Life After Breaking Up With A Narcissist

Your relationship has ended, and you have moved through understanding and now you are ready to emerge as the new you! You have accepted that you were in a relationship with a Narcissist. Even though at times of weakness, you still have a question if your partner truly was a Narcissist? Divorce Coach Megan Holgate lists a few personality characteristics of a Narcissist below, will remind you that you were most definitely in a relationship with a Narcissist. Remember how your partner would: –

– Lie to you at a pathological level, causing you to second guess your sanity at times, thinking you were going crazy?
– How they changed dramatically. From the charming, loving perfect partner who ended up become a controlling, critical and manipulative and so insecure?
– Be so pretentious, conceited and boastful on how amazing they were, when the truth was quite the opposite?
– How Untrustworthy & Controlling they were of you, needing to know where you were 24/7?
– Unable to accept criticism?

image via pinterest

Remember how being in the relationship made you feel: –

– Confused, second guessing your decision making.
– If anything went wrong it was always your fault?
– Crazy from their never ending lying?
– Manipulated?
– Unsupported?
– Fearful to speak honestly, to avoid arguments?
– Controlled?
– Exhausted from their never-ending games?

This is now in your past, and you are FREE.

You may be feeling similar to many who have conquered a life-threatening illness – having an entirely new and clear perspective on life. No longer are you content with simply living. It’s time to emerge from your healing cocoon, to embrace life and live every moment to the absolute fullest. Frequently, when in a relationship with a narcissist, your career, your wants, your life, are put to one side, as you don’t verbalise your needs. That is no longer your life, now it’s all about you and your wants and desires.

You can feel within yourself that you are stronger, more resilient and you know you have become a far better version of who you previously were. You have loved and moved on and now you are a formidable force to be reckoned with. You are in the driver’s seat at long last and doesn’t it feel wonderful? You feel ready to live life to the fullest starting today!

1. Business Idea – DO IT!

You have been dreaming of a particular business idea for so very long, yet your ex-partner would continually convince you it was a bad idea. In addition to their negativity, was your wall of fear that would overtake your dream. Don’t let fear stop you from anything, not anymore. However, the most sensible steps to begin a business is to: –

– Plan sensibly by doing a realistic business plan to understand the amount of money you need to invest. If you are not a numbers person, get a friend or business associate who is to help you, as this is the essential ingredient when creating any business.
– If fear is holding you back, think of your audience, your customers and how you can help them, how they will benefit from what you create? Turn your thoughts around from you to your customer.
– If you do have a dream business idea, yet financial necessity has you remain in your existing role, start implementing ideas for the business idea in tiny increments.
– Begin. Work at night when the children are in bed, on weekends, any time you can spare some time do it. Don’t put it off or you will never begin this.

2. Career Aspirations – DO IT!

You career has been stagnant, as you rejected a promotion as your partner objected so strongly about your extensive travel schedule. You did this to save your relationship? There is nothing wrong with your previous decision. We make many decisions whilst in relationships with narcissist, so as not to upset them. Now you can make your career whatever you want. It’s up to you.

Your relationship is over and you are ready for a new and exciting career challenge. You have a hundred ideas swirling in your head. Stop and think: –

– Does your career have to remain your career?
– Eliminate should from your vocabulary when it comes to your career and instead do what fills your soul with joy.
– Are you ready to step up, to move to the next level of management?
– Will your current workplace see you in the best light and put you forward for future promotions, after you rejected their previous offer?
– Is it time to begin a whole new era with a new company? A fresh start?

The above are questions, which will help guide you to make the right decisions that only you can feel comfortable making. Don’t rush into anything and allow the right decisions to be made when the time is right and, most importantly, they feel right.

3. Live Overseas? – DO IT!

As Joan Erikson from the book ‘A Year by the Sea’ states ‘Get out and gather experiences.’

You have wanted to live in a foreign country for so very long, yet your relationship held you back, as your partner didn’t like the thought of the unknown. Now it’s time – your time, to   pack up and go! I offer the same advice to my clients as I do my personal friends. If you go and don’t like it, you can always return, as nothing will have changed.

You might be thinking: –

– I can’t afford to go? ‘Set a savings plan in stone, with exact figures and time-frames.
– I don’t know anybody in that country? Fantastic time for reinvention!
– What if I don’t get a job? You will if you want one enough!
– My career may stagnate if I leave my current role? It may flourish in your new destination!
– I keep thinking ‘I can’t?’ Change your thinking to ‘I can!’
– Do you want to wake up in 10 years’ time wishing you had taken this leap of faith?

Dive in the deep end and jump on that plane now! You are now FREE. Please get out into life and live every day as if it was your last. You have survived and thrived through this relationship and in this early days of life after a narcissist, so keep moving forward… onwards and upwards.

The Ending of your relationship with the narcissist, truly was the Beginning of the New You!


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