Seeking romantic relationships – putting on war paint, practising your wittiest lines and launching, yet again, into finding a match – can be exhausting. You could be excused for just wanting time out from the whole song and dance. After all, there is some truth in the idea that relaxing your pursuit and focussing on leading a healthy, happy life will lead to better, smoother relationships in the future.
Still, there’s a difference between chilling out about having a partner and getting so depressed about the whole kissing-frogs routine that you’ve unconsciously stopped trying. When you’re in that state, the signals you’re giving off act as deterrents: you have ‘Not Interested’ branded on your forehead, even if you don’t intend it.
Think this might be you?
image via pinterest
Have a look below for the six signs you have given up on love:
1. You don’t seek out new people, activities or social groups
Every woman who’s ever tuned into a talk show knows this one. If you want a new romantic interest, the easiest way is to expand your social experience. Gym-going, knitting circles, Jane Austen book clubs – ‘eyes open’ means ‘diary full’. If you’ve stopped going out – or just stayed within your social periphery for a while now – you’ve started to choose the single life.
2. You react to couples and mentions of romance with disdain or pessimism
Mention of Valentine’s Day give you hives? Couples kissing at bus stops fill you with an urge to groan? A new friend’s romance subject to your scathing cynical assessment? Congratulations, you’ve officially reached the point where romance is going to have to sneak in at night and chloroform you to win you over.
3. You think ‘What’s the point?’ when presented with a romantic opportunity
This is the classic symptom. If somebody cute offers you their phone number, starts a conversation, winks across a bar, and you make your excuses because “there’s no point, it’ll just end badly”, you’ve really shut yourself down to the possibility of love.
4. Another segment of your life has gone into overdrive
Romantic pursuit takes energy. If your life has been overtaken with another priority – work, health, family – you’ve made a choice to divert those energies to other things. (This can sometimes not be a choice, so it’s not a firm sign.)
5. You’ve stopped taking care of yourself
Looking good and looking for a relationship aren’t tied together – and nor should they be. You shouldn’t work out and buy that trench coat purely for man-snagging. Still, if you’ve stopped paying attention to your appearance, you’re not feeling interested in being pursued.
6. You no longer notice when subtle indications of interest are thrown your way
Flirtation is about wavelengths, signals and silent languages. You have to be ‘tuned in’ to a romantic vibe to pick up on them. If you’ve charged through without noticing the cues, it’s a sign you’ve ‘turned yourself off’ to that communication.
Top Tip: to get yourself back into the swing of things, read Love Letters Of Great Men, the Sex & The City: The Movie didn’t feature it for nothing.