Samantha X — the former journalist who revealed in a tell-all book, Hooked: Secrets of a High Class Call Girl, that she had change careers and become a courtesan reveals the passion killers that leave men bruised, the surprising grooming requests from her clients (including what colour of nail polish they prefer), why steak and chips will always be sexier than salad and sparkling water, her thoughts on 50 Shades of Grey, and so much more.
Read on to find out what men reveal when their guard is down – it might just leave you loving them a little more.
image via pinterest
RESCU: Are there any passion killers that your clients tell you about, or anything that they say their partners does or says that leaves them sad or disappointed?
Samantha X: I’ve heard more than once that my client’s wives have said during while doing the deed; ‘Can you hurry up, the dinner’s in the oven.’ And I’m sure we’ve all done it. I know I used to before I created Samantha!
Another one is ‘How long is this going to take? I’ve got Pilates…’
RESCU: So sexy.
Samantha X: And it doesn’t do much for a man’s ego. Men are all about ego, they want to be desired. They have feelings too!
RESCU: Are there any external things that you think are tools of the trade for you that you would suggest or recommend? You’ve mentioned lingerie, but are there any fragrances that you think men really like? Any kind of toys that you recommend? Anything they don’t like?
Samantha X: Men don’t like makeup as much as women do, I always get asked not to wear lipstick and sometimes not to wear perfume.
RESCU: Is that because they don’t want their wife to smell you?
Samantha X: Sometimes, but sometimes they just like the natural look. It’s funny; when I was a beauty editor I used to have long nails, spray tan, lots of make up. But I’ve realised that I feel sexier being more natural now.
RESCU: Wow! It is exactly the opposite of what people think. People think that call girls and escorts look like porn stars.
Samantha X: Well some do, but not as many as you think. Most are ex-corporate women, mostly mums and girl next-door look. Anyone can look sexy with the right outfit and a great photographer!
A client took me away on his helicopter to a resort last weekend. I wore jeans and a singlet and hardly any make up. He needs me to look discrete and elegant. If I looked like a porn star, it’s pretty bloody obvious I am an escort, and no one needs that attention. Clients want me to look like their colleague or their girlfriend…
I get asked quite often not to wear red nail polish and instead to have coral – for some reason men love coral, or nudes.
I always ask them what they would like me to wear and the most common answer will surprise you — ‘Whatever you feel comfortable in’ is what they respond with the most.
I’ve turned up in jeans and converse before. The one investment I have made is a new pair of shoes: Louboutins. And it’s amazing because you think men don’t notice things like shoes, but those shoes get a lot of comments.
RESCU: And what kind of kind of Louboutins do you get? What style? What length of heel?
Samantha X: High. Closed toe.
RESCU: Like a classic pump.
Samantha X: Yeah. And the fact that they’re Louboutins make the men feel good that they’ve got a woman that’s got expensive stuff. Agent Provocateur lingerie is always a good choice, you absolutely cannot go wrong in that. I’ve got a client, CEO of a huge multi-national company, who specifically requests that my stockings are from Agent Provocateur. And we spend most of the two hours talking!
Go and try some lingerie on. You can walk in feeling unsexy and walk out feeling like you can charge X amount! It’s all about confidence.
RESCU: You look beautiful and to your point, you do look really natural.
Samantha X: Thank you. I don’t wear false eyelashes anymore; men don’t like false eyelashes… false nails, fake tans… all gone!
RESCU: To that point, now that you have the experience of being an object of desire for men and you’ve become a vessel for men to feel masculine, do you feel like women make a lot of stupid mistakes like dressing for other women? Being hung up on things that actually don’t attract men at all?
Samantha X: Absolutely. I really feel, and what I base my look on, is I know what suits me and my body shape. And when I feel good, I look good.
RESCU: So tell us. What men want is…?
Samantha X: Confidence. A confident woman. They don’t want you to be complaining. A picky eater is a real turn-off for men.
I often order steak and chips when I’m with clients, because not only do I like steak and chips but also to show that I’m relaxed, I can eat steak and chips and I’m not going to be paranoid about the size of my thighs. Women who pick at a salad, no dressing and a sparkling water — seriously.
If they are so rigid in their life, what are they like in bed? Men think like that!
RESCU: They’ve got no carbs in them….
Samantha X: Well number one they don’t have the energy. And number two, you’ve got to let yourself go a bit, don’t worry about always sucking your tummy in. You have to lose your inhibitions, and for that you have to feel confident in yourself to do that. And there is nothing sexier than a happy woman, a woman who is at peace with herself and confident.
RESCU: So if you’re going on date night, don’t be an uptight date.
Samantha X: No! Order dessert. Drink, eat and be merry. And worry less. I think as you get older, you lose that sense of wild abandonment sometimes with your partner. I’m not saying go and drag him into a sex shop but… simple things like stopping in the street to give your partner a big kiss or ‘darling, I just wanted to say you look absolutely gorgeous tonight’. Very simple, it’s not rocket science.
It’s easy to forget the things that make a man feel wanted and desired. Instead of worrying about getting a stinky spray tan, think about the sexy lingerie you’re going to wear and how that makes you feel. You mentioned sex toys before – my clients don’t like toys. Not many men want to be in a room with a penis bigger than his! So it’s not a bit of rubber you desire, it’s your partner.
RESCU: Do you have things like a scented candle, do you wear perfume, and do you have go-to fragrances that you know Samantha X wears?
Samantha X: Balmain is my scent of choice.
RESCU: As Samantha?
Samantha X: Yes. A client bought me Kenzo the other day. Another client bought me Cartier. So I’m presuming these are scents that men like as well. Scented candles, no, men don’t really notice that stuff. Coconut oil. There’s this fantastic product I’ve discovered called Cocooil After Sun Lime Coconut Oil – it smells of sex on holiday! I get oiled up, oil my man up and away we go! Be careful with condoms though; don’t use it as a lubricant as it may disintegrate rubber. Stroke his c**k with a bit of that oil, and bingo, job over!
RESCU: [laughs] That’s one way of getting to your oven quicker! You were saying natural makeup; do wear any kind of makeup? Do you wear body lotion?
Samantha X: Yes, I always wear something that gives me a bit of a gloss, so whether it’s Palmers Cocoa Butter, MAC or Chanel. A scent in lotions I’ve noticed men don’t really like is Vanilla.
RESCU: They DON’T like it?
Samantha X: Not really it’s a bit sweet. Anything Chanel.
RESCU: Is good?
Samantha X: Yes. My Balmain, men have gone crazy about it….
RESCU: Note to self, get out the Balmain.
Samantha X: Also, this is a really interesting point. When I was a beauty editor, you know, the old me, I used to dress a little bit more provocatively… have my boobs out, tight clothes. My wardrobe now is way more conservative. I have a beautiful Hugo Boss jacket which men love, I have Wolford trousers, and I have a beautiful Wolford white shirt. Less clothes but elegant pieces.
What I get asked for is jeans and a t-shirt or something classy. Or they say corporate. So, a long skirt — my skirts have got longer and I don’t think I own any short tight dresses anymore. I think it’s very important for women to dress their age, and I’m not saying when you turn 40+ you start wearing floral patterns but a tight tiny dress on a woman 40+ doesn’t scream sexy. If you’ve got the figure for it, great, but it’s much sexier to cover more flesh.
RESCU: And you’ve got good flesh so… good advice.
Samantha X: It’s sexier to wear more because there’s more to unpeel. My photographs on my website, I’m wearing trousers and a jacket. And there are loads of girls in G-strings or purely naked and there’s almost nothing left to the imagination.
RESCU: Question: G-strings, or panties?
Samantha X: Panties.
RESCU: Red or Black?
Samantha X: Black. I’ve never been asked for red lingerie. I don’t own anything red.
RESCU: Cotton or lace?
Samantha X: Lace. The most common request I get is for black or blue lingerie.
RESCU: Blue as in electric blue or powder blue?
Samantha X: Deep blue. Experiment with lingerie. It doesn’t have to be black, white or red; forget red…
RESCU: And boys don’t like it.
Samantha X: Bodices are beautiful.
RESCU: Did you have to practice getting them on and off; is that part of having the confidence to wear them? Have a little practice run…
Samantha X: Of course. When I was in Agent Provocateur the lady gave me some great advice. I told her I struggled putting stockings and suspenders on and she said ‘sit down on the sofa, have them in your hand, and just sit and unclip them yourself.’
Make sure your nails and toes are always neat, and have clean, nice-smelling hair…
RESCU: Yeah they notice clean hair, soft hair, touchable hair…
Samantha X: Yes. Skin is really important. Look after your skin. Men love soft skin. I hear, ‘You’ve got such soft skin,’ all the time but I have never heard, ‘I love that lipstick, or eye shadow, or wow your eyelashes look so long…’ I’ve noticed most men don’t really like brazilians. I get asked to grow my hair more.
Samantha X: So now I grow more hair and men are always very appreciative of that. I get asked a lot about feet, can I send a picture of my feet… foot fetishes are really common in men. Men like beautiful feet. So look after your heels. Don’t neglect your toes.
RESCU: Is there a colour nail polish on your feet that men particularly appreciate?
Samantha X: The only one I get asked for is coral.
RESCU: That’s hilarious that men would even know coral, it’s so specific. You’d think they’d call it orange.
Samantha X: Nudes, corals… yes. No blues, purples, blacks. They really don’t like black. The dark ones.
RESCU: They don’t get it… Now I have one question to wrap this all up to finish. The phenomenon of Fifty Shades of Grey. What’s your take on it?
Samantha X: I think it’s a celebration of female sexuality, and I think it’s really paved the way for women to enjoy sex. As for BDSM, not my cup of tea.
RESCU: But do you think this movie is going to bring experimental sexuality into pop-culture? Before nobody knew what BDSM stood for, now it’s being bandied around in everyday conversation…
Samantha X: I think people have never really talked about that part of their lives, but a lot goes on behind closed doors. 50 Shades is making it more acceptable to bring it into the public arena. When I went public, I was inundated (and still am) with messages from women from all over the world who wanted to give up their accountancy jobs or whatever, and do what I do. They wanted to feel empowered. They loved sex and didn’t feel ashamed about that. Why is it OK for men to enjoy it, go to strip clubs, watch porn, go to brothels etc. but when women admit that they love it too, it’s suddenly controversial!
So I’m pleased that it’s is becoming an approachable subject, and that as women we love it just as much as men. It is supposed to be enjoyable, safe, respectful and exciting. It’s great that as females we’re able to embrace that and not have guilt and shame associated with our sexuality. Women are beautiful and they need to feel beautiful.
Photo credit: Fabrizio Lipari