We ask expert behavioural and performance coach and all-round self-confidence guru, Glenise Anderson, about the difference between self-confidence and happiness plus she shares her top tips on how to increase happiness and confidence in your life!
RESCU: With the modern woman being a mixture of friend, partner, mother, wife, daughter and bread-winner plus everything we’ve got on our plate, it can be difficult to keep our emotions in check and propel our best self forward. What we want to know is, what is the difference between happiness and self-confidence?
Glenise Anderson: Hmmm, interesting question don’t you think? In actual fact, I think the question should be, “Is there any difference or do they go hand-in-hand?” Wikipedia states: Happiness – Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Sounds nice!
Self Confidence – The socio-psychological concept of self-confidence relates to self-assuredness in one’s personal judgment, ability, power, etc., sometimes manifested excessively. Goodness, what a mouthful!
It goes on to say – Being confident in yourself is infectious if you present yourself well, others will want to follow in your footsteps towards success. Now that statement I understand, however, it still doesn’t clarify the difference does it? Well – for me they go pretty much hand in hand. I find that if you’re happy, you’re usually pretty confident and visa versa.
RESCU: What’s the secret to being a happy, confident woman?
Glenise Anderson: There is one standout trait common in happy, confident people. Action – physical and mental! You need to be very clear about this and you must be willing to consistently take action where necessary. Action is the glue, which keeps everything together.
RESCU: What are your top tips to increase happiness and confidence in our lives?
The No. 1 tip is to accept who you are. Let me tell you this is often the first thing I clarify when coaching clients. Comparing yourself to others, whether it is physically, financially or educationally is a recipe for disaster! It’s unrealistic, increases stress levels and invites depression into your life.
Tip No. 2 is the next step after accepting yourself. It’s to be the best YOU can be. Notice the emphasis on ‘you’. Go out there and be a role model e.g. If you’re a parent, then you already are a Role Model. Do not ever fall into the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ cycle. Your children watch everything you do and look to you for guidance. You might as well be the best you can be.
Tip No. 3 – Understand yourself really, really well. Understand your strengths and weaknesses. Research shows that people who work to their strengths are the happiest. Doing the things you love leaves you energised and upbeat. I was speaking with a woman recently and although she had just come back from holidays, she was already organising the family’s next one. When I asked her to tell me more, she said she’s really, really good at budgeting and by having the goal of a family holiday ensures they stay motivated and on track all year. When the family packs their bags to launch off on their next grand adventure, she has an amazing sense of happiness and achievement.
And finally, Tip 4 Contribute! I heard Michelle Obama interviewed on The Circle where they asked if she would run for President if Barak didn’t get back in. “Absolutely not” she answered. “But one thing is very clear to me, is that I will always serve” she went on to say “There is always someone in need of help”. And of course, she is absolutely right.
Ensure you are always helping others less fortunate in some capacity – big or small. This act alone will create a great sense of fulfillment in your life. And finally, remember, life’s a journey of twists and turns and ups and downs.
Make it as enjoyable as possible, spread the joy and both Happiness & Self Confidence will be yours.