Want to feel loved every day? No matter if you’re single, in a relationship or are romantically involved, it’s so important to practice the art of self-love. One of the best presents you can give yourself… is the ability to honor the you of you. Claire Aristides is a leader in self development and a coach to many powerful women. She reveals two powerful techniques to guide you on your journey to self discovery and self love.
Self-love is something unique to each of us. What it means to me will be completely different from what it means for you. And whilst our doubts and criticisms are uniquely our own – there are some simple techniques we can embrace to build and boost self-acceptance, self-compassion, and ultimately self-love of ourselves.
Here are two simple techniques to boost self-love:
Technique 1: Write a love letter to your younger self
Write yourself a letter of love and gratitude to your younger self. You might like to list all the things you love about yourself and thank your younger self. This technique can be incredibly moving, so take your time and be compassionate with yourself. Showing appreciation and gratitude for our younger selves can help us to see just how special we are yet how often we can take that for granted.
When you practice this technique, a couple of incredible things are happening to you. Firstly, when we express gratitude, we get a surge of the hormone DOPAMINE. Simply taking stock of all that you are grateful for about yourself fires off a surge of this incredible feel-good hormone. Think of it as giving your mind and body one huge, big hug, showering yourself in feeling good about yourself.
Also, the process of putting pen to paper and writing is intrinsically linked to learning. 1.
By appreciating yourself from a new perspective, you might see yourself in a new, more positive light and see yourself as the unique and special person we all are.
Technique 2: Self-Love Affirmations
Language is powerful to our psyche and our physiology. Imagine a friend saying lovely, sweet words to you vs. an angry driver on the road screaming insults and road rage – first scenario, you feel good about yourself you are calm, your body is calm, you might even be smiling, and have a warm fuzzy feeling inside, whereas in the second scenario your heart is pounding, your palms are sweaty, your blood pressure up – you are stressed.
Words have a huge impact on your day-to-day mood. Neuroscientist Dr Lisa Feldman Barrett has researched the effect words have on us, and her research shows that when we hear negative words, our physiology changes, there is increased activity in the brain system that controls heart rate, breathing, metabolism, the immune system, and hormones. Dr. Lisa says, ‘The power of words is not a metaphor, it’s in the wiring of your brain.’ 2
Start to take notice of your inner dialogue – what words are you telling yourself.? Is it time to re-write your own words to yourself? Turn your self-talk into the lovely friend, not the angry road rage driver.
The second technique is about creating self-love affirmations for yourself. This is something you can do every day – make it a habit as you brush your teeth to practice. It might seem silly at first but imagine yourself as that sweet friend – what kind and loving words would you use. Choose the words that resonate with you. If something does not feel right, tweak until you find what does.
For example, I like to start my day with an affirmation that – “I am calm, contented and confident. ”
This might not resonate with you, so choose what does.
Here are some ideas –
· I am doing the best I can.
· Every day is a new day, a time for change.
· I do the best I can.
· I am unique. There is no one like me.
And if you get stuck, ask yourself – ‘I love myself because…… ?’
The Mindology App also has a Gratitude Journal you can download for free to get those feel-good hormones pumping … ❤️
Claire Aristides is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, and founder of Mindology App an app to calm and empower the mind
Download Mindology App
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Dr Feldman Barrett revealed her findings in her book Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain, where she shares the impact of words.